you are not alone feeling alone

you are not alone – feeling alone

from a feeling of separation to a feeling of oneness
lights by Ganga

I think loneliness is a very common human experience. I know I have met and still meet it often. It has nothing to do with how many friends we have or the amount of lovely, beautiful relations in our lives. It is a feeling way deeper than that. It is existential and it is tied to the feeling of separation.


At some point in life, it happens for many of us, that we start experiencing ourselves as separate from other humans, from life and from the universe. And I suspect that this sense of separation grows within us as the feeling of loneliness, perhaps as an experience of not really being seen or understood fully – or as a deep ‘there is me and the world’.


There was a time when I didn’t know, or was aware to notice, that it was there in the background of my life as the silent shadow following me around. Then there was a time when I did notice it, but saw it with fear and shame, and thus tried to hide it even better. And then came the time, when it truly surfaced to an extent that I couldn’t ignore it and I finally stopped fighting against it. Rather, I started to accept it, even welcome it and realized how human it was.

I also noticed that every time I shared with someone else that I sometimes felt loneliness deep inside, people would respond with a similar story – which made us both feel less alone.

It was like by each sharing of truth everyone got a bit more healed and whole. I felt compassion towards that part of myself who felt alone in the world; like a small child I could nothing but love and just wanted to pick up and hug lovingly – and say ‘oh dear, but you are not alone‘.


Then, I saw – and felt physically – through spiritual practice like meditation, that in fact I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t alone, I just thought I was alone. In other words, the feeling of loneliness was a thought from a place that didn’t know better. I started to feel the oneness I before only understood as an abstract concept. I started to meet people on my path who were very aligned with me, with my soul, and there was a sense of deep connection and belonging. But better yet, I have started to understand that I never have been alone and I never will be alone – and the same is true for you. We really are connected – both to each other, to nature, to life and to the magnificent, ever-loving universe. When I say that I have started to understand – it means that it is a process of moving from the feeling of separation into the feeling of oneness – and I haven’t fully arrived yet, so for me it is a process, where some periods are more filled with the one or the other.

If we enter into the love within us and have complete trust in the universe in each given moment, then loneliness cannot exist.

In reality any feeling of separation isn’t true but it is something, which we experience as true. The beautiful thing in that is, that therefore it is also something, which we can let go of or raise above. I think that it is much easier to let go, than we actually think, because it often is grounded in ‘untrue’ thoughts or stories about yourselves that tie us down. But as we aren’t our stories neither something untrue, we can transcend those feelings by noticing our truth – our true nature, which is soul or love – an eternal love connecting all that is. Hallelujah!


I know it is easier said than done. But if you feel alone, know that you are not – and don’t be afraid to share it. We can – and should – help each other back into oneness.

lights by Ganga


“Don’t surrender your loneliness so quickly, let it cut more deep. Let it ferment and season you, as few human or even divine ingredients can. Something missing in my heart tonight has made my eyes so soft, my voice so tender, my need of God absolutely clear.” ~Hafiz


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